SuperPost for week 4: Feb 7th and 9th

Standard

Theme for the week:   Sexuality and coming out online

Readings to discuss in class on Tuesday: 

Additional material to discuss on Thursday: 

—————————————————


Advertisements

45 responses »

  1. This might be a hashtag day for me! Lol at home Sick. Guess when I return to class Tuesday it’ll be me, coming-out as “well,” lol I think that pretty much sums it up. 🙂

  2. Okay, folks. Class has started 🙂
    What did you think about the podcast? I really hope you got a chance to listen to it (and aren’t just doing so right now, haha). Think about things we’ve discussed before regarding ‘coming out,’ online identities, and how different Todd Glass’s coming out experience may be from other, non-internet methods (or perhaps how it’s different from doing so on, say, a blog rather than a podcast)

    • I enjoyed the podcast, and because it took him so long to come out, it showed that he had lots of courage and hes becoming more comfortable with the term gay. ( I was really confused on that part. Did he not like the term gay?) Ive never heard of this wtf guy, so I was wondering why he decided to come out on a podcast with a small audience, then again If I were officially coming out for the first time I wouldn’t want to make it a huge public announcement either.

      • I think the podcast gets a few thousand listeners regularly, so it is pretty small, but the interesting thing is that this particular podcast got shared around a lot more than usual. normally the guests just talk about comedy-related things and keep it pretty light, but this one was obviously about something more.

        that said, most standup comedians and people who are close with them listen to Marc Maron’s WTF podcast, so it’s basically like coming out to your closest fans and all of your peers haha.

      • My favorite part was also pro everything. I smiled when he said something along the lines of “teaching others to be comfortable with homosexuality and coming out instead of forcing kids to come out”. Making it easier for them to come out on their own.

        • this was my favorite part too! I thought it was a good message to send out to the listeners because you never know who is listening.. maybe someone who was scared or worried to come out now feels a little more at ease, and less alone.

    • I have to admit, the podcast was both interesting and thought-provoking. Even though it was going to be in a controlled way with someone he knew would be ok with it, he was still freaking out beforehand. I had no idea who Todd Glass was before this, but I already wanted to give him a hug during that phone conversation Marc Maron added in before class came on. I can’t imagine how hard that was for him.

      Since it was by podcast with another person and not blog or website or in front of a live audience, I think that it might’ve felt more “real”, I guess, than being able to carefully think out what Glass wanted to say in the first two, but not as intimidating or uncontrolled in the last one. It was basically a conversation with a friend, only it was being recorded, and I think that might’ve helped. Sometimes saying things out loud is more solidifying than just typing things out.

      • Having done podcasts (for admittedly a tiny audience), I can definitely say that’s an accurate feeling. There’s something more personal about talking to someone than writing a blog post, and I’d even argue that LISTENING to a podcast conversation is more personal than reading someone’s posts.

        • It definitely seemed more personal than reading a blog or something, mainly because you could actually hear how he felt and how extreme his emotions were rather than trying to guess how he felt or translate writing into emotion.

  3. “look at another guys hairy ass”
    – “imagine your sister blowin’ guys”
    “dave chapelle”
    “not pro-gay, pro-everything”, “we don’t give a fuck who you are”
    “never ask questions”
    ^notes^

    These were probably the two more striking things Glass touched one, for me.

    Dave Chapelle is a genius. He is one of my most favourite comedians, celebrities, people, everything. And it was a little surprising, but then not, that he said something on along the lines of gay people shouldn’t draw such a direct line between their struggle and that of black people. While his point is valid, it is much easier for homosexuals to hide their plight, (but really, as Glass just barely commented on, that’s arguable), I still think the two are comparable. But the bottom line is, as Glass also said, it’s not a competition! People of all dispositions do this, they try to be the worst off. WHY would anyone want that? I am an incredibly privileged person, no denying it, but if I were posed with such challenges, and I may in the future, I would want to showcase how AWESOME I am despite these challenges, not try to harvest the most sympathy/guilt.

    More topics in more comments.

    • Im on the fence about that. I’m not a fan of Dave Chapelle, but I do agree with him and I also agree with Glass. He’s right, Its not a competition, but you cant hide the fact that you’re black.

      • there is a phrase that comes to mind “the oppression olympics,” which basically signifies different marginalized groups talking about how the *other* group does not “know what oppression feels like” rather than uniting together against the common oppressors. this happens a lot with not only race and sexuality but also with gender.

        • I know that I’ve heard what Kate’s talking about when it comes to race, and not knowing what it feels to like (fill in the blank) race.. but I never really thought about it in the terms of sexuality or gender. It does make perfect sense now though that homosexuals, transgendered people, bisexuals, and any other variation that doesn’t fit into the middle age, white, heterosexual, male.. I think we called that the norm last semester

    • 😀 In agreeance that Dave Chapelle is AWESOME, he’s one of the only comedians I know that is not afraid to talk about the scary things in life (real life situations) and poking fun at it just for the hell of it.

      As for it being comparable…to a certain extent, but PLEASE don’t get it twisted it is nothing similar as far as experience and oppression is concerned (in my opinion). They are two different aspects of oppression and have different levels of emotion and contexts. However, I do agree it is not something to dwell on rather, embrace, Flip around, and glorify the awesomeness of what has come from it and not give a DAMN about what anyone else has to say about it!!!

      Point. blank.

    • Like others have said/implied, one doesn’t really “come out black”, but I can see how the two are similar. Still, comparing the struggles of various social minority groups just seems pointless and semantic to me.

  4. It’s interesting to me that Glass refuses to use the word “gay”; I guess it makes sense that he would want to avoid the various connotations of the word while still being able to describe himself and his orientation.

    • Yeah, me too. I can see why he dislikes using gay to describe himself and dislikes homosexual even more. This was the first time I’ve ever heard someone who wasn’t comfortable with calling themselves that. I suppose it kind of shows that he’s still struggling with this. I think he did say something about him not being able to do some things because he admitted his sexuality this late, though I could be wrong.

    • I found that interesting too. I thought maybe he was against it because of all the slang that is used today in everyday conversation.. I can’t tell you how many times a day I hear “That’s gay”, which I never really understood why so many people say that.

      • I really like the fact that he brought up the consequences of saying being gay is wrong or using gay as an adjective for stupid. I’m willing to bet that most people never think about these things when they say homophobic things and just think that anyone who thinks what they say is offensive needs to remember that they have free speech and they need to stop being so sensitive and read their bible and blah. I doubt that most people who cling to the idea that gay marriage will somehow ruin America or that you can wish/force someone to change their sexuality ever think about the people who are listening. Glass was extremely passionate about this and was extremely pissed off at people ruining the lives of kids and causing them to kill themselves. Hell, that’s what motivated him to come out in the first place. He said something near the end about anti-gay people being able to go back and write a book about what they said or and “redeem” themselves, but that gay people would still be left with negative feelings and negative life experiences or no life at all.

        • It really bothers me when churches and religious people shun or ridicule the GLBT community. I come from a religious background and the church I attend back home accepts everyone. We have people of every color, race, sexuality, and gender. I have never been in a church service or around people from my church and felt as if they didn’t fully accept certain people. But the minute I step out those doors I see so many other churches around the world that do awful things to these people. I am lucky enough to have grown up in a place where I was taught everyone may be different but we are all still humans which therefore makes us equals. I think it’s important to celebrate differences whether it be in churches, schools, or just everyday encounters.

          • Accepting people for who they are and being kind to everyone…sounds almost…Jesus-like.

          • Agreed, my church is accepting of everyone. I haven’t told anyone this, but Ive actually stopped listening to what use to be one of my favorite gospel songs “Victory” because the singer sings “God says come out of lesbianism, come out of homosexuality”. I consider myself to be a VERY liberal christian and when people call themselves jesus-like and bash and shun those that are considered “different” I get mad.

  5. Next, the how-could-you-do-that concept. My simple answer: grow the fuck up. Both Glass and Maron said it perfectly, you don’t imagine anyone! I mean, like they said, everyone imagines sex. But it’s typically yourself with a stranger or some specific point of your desire. We don’t think, ooh yeah, look at that couple, I’m gunna imagine their sex. Or if you do, it’s YOUR version of their sex, you don’t really think about how THEY enjoy sex, because that would be to potentially acknowledge a type of sex that may “gross” you out. BUT WAIT.Let’s nip this in the bud and…I don’t know…ACCEPT MULTIPLE TYPES OF SEXUAL PLEASURE. This is kinda of a hot topic for me. Mainly because, through the internet honestly, I have found so much goddamn contradiction. Person A is very accepting of gay couples, lesbian couples, and, hell, even though they’ve never talked to one, transgendered people! But, when we talk about the variables that people don’t think about, even in the sexual lives of straight couples, people get grossed out! Example: a straight couple that likes to switch up who get’s to do the penetrating, S&M as an entire genre, men AND women who have a preference for larger women or men. We don’t take them seriously! They’re turned into a gimmick. Into a joke in a movie. And honestly, that’s how we familiarize ourselves and get comfortable with these types of sex that are not “normal” in the eyes of the majority. We turn them into jokes, and then it’s okay to talk about them.

    /rantrant

    So, my main point (tl;dr): Hooray for accepting queer people, but lets try and push ourselves to REALLY accept alternative sexual lifestyles without judgement or humour.

  6. Another thing they touched on that I really related to was the idea that once coming out, sometimes the people you come out to can be accepting superficially, but really, they just don’t want to talk about it. Or even talk about the queer person in questions feelings or experiences at all. I had this experience myself. I remember I shared this in the WMST201 class briefly. In highschool I had a pretty big crush on a girl who was a really good friend of mine. We were on the soccer team together, had a couple classes, and never had a problem just chatting away. She was one of those girls that, while she came from a conservative, very academic, Chinese background, a lot of people kind of assumed she might be a lesbian. She always had her hair very short and never dressed very femininely. Through soccer we had a lot of shared experiences. Honestly, it was just a small crush, not love or anything close to that, but I was young and I wanted to share it. Not with her of course, but with one of my other good friends. So I did. And she was was “cool” with it. But we never talked about it again. She never asked me what I liked about her, she never asked me about our interactions, she never encouraged me to go for it, like she did with every other male crush I had had during our friendship. And because it was a fairly short-lived crush, I didn’t dwell on it. But in hindsight, I see how she wasn’t comfortable with it and it hurts. I can only imagine how that would feel for someone in a long term relationship or someone coming out to a close friend or family. Very sad.

    • Yes, I can understand this. I think, as Glass and others have said, that the ultimate goal is to foster a supportive environment for all sexualities, beyond just “oh ok that’s cool.” If a person can technically “come out” to their friends but further conversations are shut down, that’s not a supportive community. Coming out and expressing a non-heterosexual identity (or desire) is a continual process, which we don’t always recognize.

  7. When Glass was commenting on how his friends saying “if your gay i don’t care, just come out,” I looked back of my opinions growing up. I would get mad at celebrities for making their coming out a huge spectacle on the front of people magazine. For me it was like cool, we get it, you’re gay, no one cares, now go about your day like you normally do. But I didn’t see it from their perspective, to them it was huge, they were hiding who they were and they wanted to get it out and let everyone know. I would also tell my friends that I didn’t care if they were gay,it was awesome, and they weren’t any different in my eyes. As KT Tunstall would say “suddenly I see.”

    • yes! that’s definitely a part of heterosexual privilege that we don’t necessarily recognize until we make an attempt to see another’s perspective.

    • Yeah. When coming out isn’t a big deal, whatever your sexuality is won’t matter anymore and the stigma of being anything other than heterosexual will be gone. Until then, we need to support those who make the decision to do so.

  8. Okay, we’re about to wrap things up here. Thank you all again for contributing and I’m so glad you all seemed to enjoy the podcast as much as I did. Please complete your personal blog post by 6pm if you haven’t already, and I will be posting the homework for next Tuesday asap. See you then!

what do you think?

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s